Who Is Mara Jade?
by niicoly
Summary: Siri joins ObiWan on Tatooine, and both think they have found a peaceful exile. A take on Mara Jade's origins.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is the first of several chapters. Updates shouldn't be too sporadic. Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading. :) (For purposes of the timeline, the second-half of Watson's "Secrets of the Jedi" does not apply.)_

----

Siri Tachi decided to just show up one morning, robes torn and blonde hair going prematurely white. There was a knock at Kenobi's door.

He had never attempted to entertain the notion that she was still alive. The sky was still dark; he didn't dare to budge from his bed, convinced that he had only been dreaming of her Force-signature becoming tangible.

A _knock_, of all things.

Then she was outside, her head down, eyes raised. She tried to speak a few times before clinging to him.

He spoke first, blinking away tears. "Am I dead?"

Siri pressed her lips to his, and cupped her rough hands to his bearded face. She shook her head. "You're most certainly alive."

He snaked an arm around her neck, drawing her in as close as he could. With hands on either side of his face, she traced his cheekbones with her thumbs. Their foreheads met, and both closed their eyes.

Squeezing her shoulders, he looked down at her. "How did you find me?"

She paused. "Organa owed me a favor from way back. So he gave me a couple of hints."

Most of all, Obi-Wan was relieved that her answer wasn't _I felt your heart breaking all the way from Coruscant._

They quickly made up for lost time as they held and touched. His body was tired -- it was always tired -- but it had never craved anything this badly since when he was a teenager. Siri sighed as each caress through the wrinkled, stiff fabric of her tunics sent pleasurable currents to the center of her belly. Obi-Wan's nerve endings seemed to tingle and then ignite as she worked her fingers down his neck. The assumed-murdered love of his life was pressed against him, not in a dream, but here, in the very real -- and very warm, very soft... -- flesh, and all he could think of was the Code.

Both of them snapped their heads toward the west as they heard a kyrat dragon letting out a howl in the distance.

Look where the damn Code had gotten them.

"Maybe you should close the door," she breathed.

"That's a good idea."

As the weeks passed, two lonely Jedi began to share a bed and a routine.

An extra person in Obi-Wan's living arrangement was cramped, but extremely welcomed. They would take turns harvesting the day's food from the small desert garden while the other prepared it. Both gathered water from the lone moisture vaporator. Siri wanted to learn more as much as she could about the other inhabitants, so they did the monthly shopping and trading in Mos Eisely together. They would closely watch each other's backs, keeping careful watch over the crowds. Before trekking home, they would stop at a cantina for a drink and whatever limited, filtered Imperial news was offered.

And of course, they exercised as much as they could.

Sometimes for the entire day.

Kenobi let head crash back against his pillow. His haggard breathing took a few minutes to return to normal.

Tachi positioned herself on top of his chest, with one hand on his forearm. She put the other one over his frantic heart.

"You're getting old," she accused.

"I guess you'll... you'll have to... trade me in for a new model." He took the hand over his heart into his own and raised it to his lips.

She looked disappointed. "But this one fits me so well."

_It's true, _Obi-Wan thought. Her head and the crook of his neck fit together like puzzle pieces. As well as other parts.

Her grin was playful. At 18 or 39, anyone would be exhausted after three hours of bliss; they could afford a nap before dinner, she reasoned.

Obi-Wan pressed her to him, and started to feel her tracing her fingers over his forearm. Siri lazily stroked the unique burns near his shoulder. As much as she insisted on wasting their precious bacta supply on them, they never seemed to heal. _They almost look like lightsaber wounds_, she often thought.

"Mrmm," he grumbled half-heartedly.

She kissed the area gently. "Am I ever going to find out what those are from?"

"Someday."

Siri had her share of geological oddities, too.

"I think this one is the most interesting."

Obi-Wan pressed his palm to a vibrant crimson scar trailing across her collar bone.

"Dantooine," she declared, patting it with her fingers. Obi-Wan nodded. He knew she had been flying a refugee mission over Dantooine when her troopers had shot her down. "Dashboard controls almost snapped my neck upon impact," she said.

"They didn't check to see if you were dead?" He raised an eyebrow.

She smiled coyly. "Four clones came to check. None reported back."

Obi-Wan grinned. "That's my girl." He blushed and looked off to the side as soon as the words left his mouth.

Kenobi had never been the warmest of Siri's friends. Despite his caring nature, his affection was never displayed as more than a proud pat on the back to his Padawan, or a supportive smile to old comrades. Even though there was a known, mutual attraction, she could have only imagined him as a timid lover. Siri had been more than pleased to find that Obi-Wan's shyness seemed to, on the contary, deepen his physical passion.

"Hey. Oafy."

He turned his eyes back to her, still visibly embarrassed about what he had called her. She raised his chin to her eye level.

"Your girl. Always."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate them. Here's the second chapter.**

----

Tatooine's sparse population turned the night sky into a glittering landscape never seen by the naked eye on Coruscant. Obi-Wan could spend hours counting and naming each one. On some nights, he would climb the twisting path into the rocks above his home. It was high enough to give him a good view of a certain moisture farming settlement. When he squinted his eyes, the horizon disappeared, and the lights at the Lars' homestead burned just as brightly as the ones overhead in the vast sky.

_Quite fitting_, Obi-Wan thought.

For someone who hated flying, he used to do it quite a bit. As he regarded each star, Obi-Wan thought about the space traffic and different people around each one.

Luke Skywalker's future was uncertain, as with what would be Kenobi's -- and now Tachi's -- roles in mentoring and protecting him. But Obi-Wan had long ago reached the conclusion that he wasn't leaving this rock any time soon. For however long the Force willed it, Kenobi's adventures were keeping the lizards from eating the garden and finding new ways to keep the sand out of his clothes.

Obi-Wan started back down the trail. His own hovel, with its light still on, came into view. He saw Siri waiting by the door.

_Whatever I've done, whatever my failures have been, I must have done something right along the way,_ he found himself thinking more and more often.

Siri watched Obi-Wan come closer back to their home. He put his arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. She responded by wrapping her arms around his chest. She could feel him smiling against her forehead. After a few moments, he realized that she was shaking, despite being wrapped in her worn, brown robe.

"Siri?"

Her face furrowed, she pressed her face against his chest.

"Please, Siri, what's wrong?"

Her eyes met his, almost ashamed. She opened her mouth, about to say it, but quickly pressed her lips together. Her heart felt as heavy as a stone. This was unreality; she had never imagined herself in this situation, at this part of her life, with this man.

Mentally, she counted to three before forming the words.

"I'm pregnant."

His embrace tensed. Siri shut her eyes as tight as she could. Obi-Wan took a step back from her, but didn't let go. "You're what?"

"Pregnant."

Siri awkwardly looked at the ground, trying to hold back more tears. It took him a bit to process the information. Kenobi's face was frozen. "How long?"

"I-- I think it's been about a month. I'm not sure."

Siri didn't pick her head up. She left the garden, walking into the kitchenette. Obi-Wan followed her, and closed the door.

"There's -- there's no way we can let this happen," he stuttered.

"What?"

Kenobi rubbed his temples. He was getting a headache. "You and me together is already enough of a risk. Throw in another Force-sensitive person, and Vader will find us, and then Luke, in a heartbeat."

"Obi-Wan, what do you expect me to do?"


	3. Chapter 3

Hi everyone - Thanks for reading & the reviews.

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When Siri had missed the first day of her menses, her second day, and then finally what should have been her fifth day, the truth had slapped her hard in the face. She had been vomiting for the past week, and had first attributed it to heat sickness -- but then grugdingly remembered that her body already had half a year to adjust to Tatooine's harsh climate. She had felt the change in her body that only Force-sensitive women could feel, and knew for certain what was happening. She had waited until that evening to tell him. She wanted to get her thoughts in order first.

Sitting here in the kitchenette, she felt intimidated. All of her life, Siri had never backed down from a fight. She was tough, and could make her own deicisions; she wasn't some timid flower who needed _Obi-Wan,_ of all people, to hold her hand and tell her what to do.

She had never imagined herself having a child. Not only was it against the Code, but she always figured herself as too independent and volatile to be tied down to such a huge responsibility. Her Padawan, Ferus, had been a wonderful student. Siri was always proud about his triumphs and hard-working attitude. The two of them had the same deep, caring relationship that all Masters and Padawans had; but she hadn't even met Ferus until he had hit puberty. How was she supposed to take care of a _child_, on Force-foresaken _Tatooine_?

Obi-Wan had stopped his pacing, and braced both his arms on the table. He looked up to see Siri staring straight ahead. He knew, from experience, that she liked to be left alone and untouched when distressed.

_Pregnant._

He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to believe that this was the Force's will, that he and Siri now, at all times, had someone to care for that was all their own. Not bright-faced Padawans belonging to a restrictive Order, or a sandy-haired toddler belonging to moisture farmers. This could be someone they could raise and love; someone who could possibly make the galaxy a better place.

But late at night, his arm still burned from hidden lightsaber wounds, and his faith dimmed a little.

"How... how did this happen?"

She looked up, sending a chill down his spine. "You were there, too," she said through gritted teeth.

The back of his neck felt coiled. There was no doubt that this child would be extremely strong -- and would be a beacon of light, illuminating the darkness that was supposed to cover them. Obi-Wan couldn't ignore the tension rising in his lower stomach. How could an infant shield itself? If Vader found him and Siri, the child would have no chance at all.

Obi-Wan bit his lower lip, breathing deeply. "We can get this taken care of, or we'll get you transport to Nal Hutta, somewhere without a garrison--"

Siri shot out of the chair she had been slouched in. Tears were thickening her eyelashes, and she didn't bother to blink them away. "You're an insufferable bastard."

He jumped, but Siri's raised fist dropped to her side instead of meeting his face. Keeping his head lowered, Obi-Wan flinched as she stalked away and slammed the bedroom door.

Siri understood that Obi-Wan would be scared -- she was terrified out of her mind. Their relationship was the only untainted thing either of them ever had. He loved her more than anyone, and knew that their Force-bond could never be severed at this point. But if he wasn't going to be sensitive, she wouldn't be, either. She hadn't resolved what she wanted to do.

Siri hadn't expected Kenobi to figure it out for her in a matter of minutes.

----

_What have I done?_

Obi-Wan had spent the past hour berating himself. He reached out to Siri and could tell she wasn't sleeping. She quickly felt him, and angrily raised her shields. It didn't matter; Obi-Wan didn't have to be a Jedi to sense her turmoil. That's what was eating away at him -- he was responsible for her pain. Siri was the only person who had ever held him as he broke down, soothing him, trying to erase the nightmares. She even had him laughing again. In return, he had shouted and acted like this was her fault.

He sent one last wave of comfort to her, only to have it shot back with disgust.

_Fine, _he thought. _There's always the old-fashioned way._ He bit his lip as he turned the door knob. The bedroom was dark, but he could see her scowl as she lifted her head off their pillow.

"I panicked," he began, sitting down on the bed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just--"

"There's nothing to be sorry about," she interrupted. Her voice was tight.

_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. _He knew there was no point repeating it in his head if she was block to going him out in every way possible. "I love you," he said as calmly as he could. "I never wanted this to happen."

She snorted. "You've made that clear enough."

"You know that's not what I meant," he said, his tone harder than he intended. "I never meant to harm you. I... I would be happy, Siri, if we could pretend that we were simple hermit parents. But we're not. We're still Jedi, and we have to think about a grander sheme. This is killing me, too."

Siri had thrown her legs over the edge of the bed, and gripped the bedsheets. "It's not so much that you've seemed to have already made this decision for me. You're so sure the Empire wants Luke, but why?"

Her fingers twisted frayed threads. "Why would they even know about Anakin? But it's the way you're putting HIM before your own daugh-- oh, Force." Siri regretted her words as soon as they had left her mouth.

Kenobi sighed in frustration. "Daughter?"

She looked embarrassed. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry. But I can tell it's a girl."

Obi-Wan buried his face in his palm. "Of course you do. All human embryos start off as female--"

"It's a girl, Obi-Wan."

The couple sat on either side of the bed. Siri felt her anger rise even more as he averted her gaze. He walked over to the window, putting a hand against the glass.

He had waited half a year to tell her. Never had he figured it would be out of so much desparation.

"Anakin is Vader."

Her words came out as a bitter, unbelieving laugh. "What in the nine Corellians hells do you mean, Anakin is Vader?"

The night sky was as peaceful as it ever was. Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than to run out of the room, if only until sunrise. "Anakin turned right before 66. I dueled him, but I couldn't finish the job, and Palpatine _repaired__him_." His voice was quiet and shaking, but it still sounded as though he wanted to purge the last two words from his memory.

It took Siri a few moments to let the revelation sink in.

"You never told me."

Finally, he turned toward her.

"Anakin was such a giving person. He wanted nothing more in life than... than to save everyone. But Sidious got hold of him. Manipulated him, made Anakin think he could stop death."

Siri pushed a strand of blonde-white hair behind her ear. "He knows you're alive, doesn't he?"

Obi-Wan barely reached a whisper. "I can't stand by and watch another child be destroyed that way. Not again."

The tension was like the air after a sandstorm. Quiet, gutted, raw. Minutes later, she put her hand on his shoulder.

"I can't abort, Obi-Wan."

"I didn't expect you to. I.. I didn't want you to."

She nodded reluctantly. "We can make the spaceport in Mos Eisley by noon. We've done it before."

_Siri, this feels like a business deal._

She let go of him, and kissed him gently on the cheek. His body cried out; begged her to let them find solace in each other, if only for one last, long night. But then he felt her shift off the bed, and lay down in the living room. Obi-Wan gripped the blanket closer to him, and as he drifted off to a fretful sleep, he thought about one of the last peaceful moments he had with Anakin --

_The young man took comfort in his former Master's presence. Perhaps the premonition about himself should have made Anakin more unnerved; but striding alongside Obi-Wan, he felt safe._

_"What do YOU see for yourself in the future, Master?"_

_After a couple of beats, he answered._

_"Unbearable sadness," Obi-Wan said, his smile never fading._

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**A/N: Sorry for the angst. :( Not to spoil anything, but hopefully you'll find the next few chapters much, much happier.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Here's Chapter 4! I apologize about the slow updates, but I'm having my finals in school right now. Thanks so much for all the reviews. They're appreciated. (A couple of you PM'd me, and I feel terrible for not replying, but I have no idea how to find the inbox on my control panel. Boy, do I feel stupid. But thank you very much. 3)

-----

The sand all around them was cast in a soft, blue-morning glow which Siri usually found to be beautiful. Today, it gave her an eerie feeling she couldn't shake.

Both Jedi were too emotionally and physically exhausted from the night before to talk. She knew that Obi-Wan had slept for perhaps two hours; he had never functioned well with little rest. Still, it was two hours more of sleep than she had.

He was getting old. They both were, but she noticed it in him more than herself. At only forty-two, years from worrying had given him premature wrinkles along his forehead, and in the corners of his eyes. She had nagged him to look for any kind of vision-enhancer in Mos Eisley. His glasses had long been destroyed.

(Not that anyone knew that the glasses had even existed. Except for her.)

"Did you eat anything this morning?"

The question caught her off-guard. His sad, soft blue eyes were soul-searching, as if a missed breakfast had been Siri's greatest tragedy.

She scoffed. "What do you think? Don't worry. I've gone longer." After a beat, Siri drew her hood up. Tears reluctantly gathered. _Hormones,_ she sniffled to herself. _But that's no excuse for being a bitch._

Obi-Wan continued to march beside her. There was no wind this morning to hide their footprints, but he was too frazzled to notice. Siri's old, beaten knapsack bounced against her hip. Her blonde hair was getting long and scraggly. It threatened to hide her face. The brown robe Siri wore was, as always, too large for her.

The clothes made her look even more tiny. Of course, it was much too early in her pregnancy for Siri to be showing. There was an incredibly brief moment when Obi-Wan imagined what she would look like with a round stomach, but the thought painfully pierced him. He knew that if any human woman in the galaxy could handle being a single mother, it was Siri. But she wasn't a pregnant, one-night stand who he felt responsible for. He wasn't an anonymous donor she picked out. She was his best friend, carrying his own child. And he was making her leave.

_Right now, am I any better than Anakin?_

He wanted to grab her. He wanted to push her hood back, kiss her within an inch of their lives, and take her back _home._ If she wanted to have this baby, then he would want to be there, be a _parent, _be a _protector_ -- but he knew too much was at stake.

Two hours from Mos Eisley, Obi-Wan's hands went into his pockets.

"Do you have any ideas yet?"

Siri's head lifted up. "Of where to go? I've got contacts. Three years of being on the run will do that to a person."

Obi-Wan didn't think it was possible. But his heart sank even further when he realized that it was probably best to not know where she was going.

------

As they walked along a narrow, rocky canyon, Siri took Obi-Wan by the arm.

"If I get off-planet by tonight, I want you to get a room before you head back tomorrow."

Obi-Wan was taken aback. "What? No. It's much too expensive. It's entirely wasteful."

Her full lips parted. "You're almost falling over enough as it is. You won't make it. Pay for a bed. Please."

"Oh, of all the pointless--"

His complaint was cut off by a low, vibrating bantha howl. Both of them froze, Siri's fingernails digging into Obi-Wan's upper arm. Her eyes narrowed as she reached out into the Force. There was definitely a bantha herd moving this way. A herd, being ridden by Tusken Raiders. They were quickly approaching, managing to hide behind a series of large boulders.

"Ten of them, maybe fifteen," Obi-Wan murmered. "A scavaging party."

"Yes," Siri agreed. "And they're scavaging this way."

Both Jedi unhooked their lightsabers, not yet activating the blades. Just over the rocks, the tops of three banthas came appeared. Siri felt her heart race and her blood accelerate. The serene warrior next to her calculated how many Raiders had weapons-- and then, they were spotted.

Siri's entire body seemed to pulse. "Fight or flight, Obi-Wan?"

The tallest robed figure, appearing to be the leader, let out a war cry and pointed to Obi-Wan.

_Fight_.

Both blades activated as the scavening party charged forward. In a matter of seconds, Obi-Wan's lightsaber had sliced through three of their gaffi sticks. They stepped back, but hollered for reinforcements.

Siri's attackers were more stubborn; she ran one through with her blade, but the others surrounding her still looked for an oppurtunity of weakness. Quickly, she reached out and levitated a good-sized rock a few feet above her head. _Parlor tricks._ The Tuskens froze, giving her a false sense of dominance.

She steadied the rock as the hunters in front of her slowly backed away in fright. Obi-Wan's saber cut through a hunter, but his spin came short as he saw the chief make a running leap for Siri. He had no time to warn her as the chief's gaffi-stick made a sickening crack, striking the back of her skull.

Siri jerked violently, falling backwards onto the sand. Just as the chief completed another devastating blow, he cried out and dropped his weapon. Right before being yanked into unconciousness, Siri saw a blue blade jut through the Raider's stomach.

-----

"Siri? Siri, oh, Force..."

The pulse against her temple was erratic and extremely weak. Her breath was too shallow. The remaining Raiders had disappeared, terrified after seeing their leader struck down by the bizarre attacker.

Obi-Wan firmly put his hand at the back of her head. He reached out to sense her other injuries. Feeling no broken vertebrae, he scooped her up into his arms.

_Shock. She's in shock. I have to get her stable._

He shrugged his robe off, and wrapped it around her. She needed a healing trance, and fast. He knew he couldn't get her all the way home in time. The limpness of her body in his embrace scared him to the point of retching, but he had to concentrate on what to do. Shelter? Yes, he had to get both of them hidden.

Early arthritis made Obi-Wan's knees stiff as he shakily climbed a crevice along the canyon wall. Sweat beaded his face. At the top of a ledge, there was an opening large enough for him to fit inside.

Gently, he laid Siri on the cool surface, her features hidden in shadow. If Obi-Wan blinked, he could pretend she was just sleeping -- but he hadn't seen her look so distressed while unconcious since the war had began. From experience, he knew that a female of her size couldn't survive to lose as much blood as was spilling onto his robe.

_She goes, I go with her. _He choked back a sob as he felt her presence growing even weaker. To enter a healing trance at this point would put him at danger as well. Fusing their senses together meant that she could drag him along, the same way that his soul screamed to pull her back.

Obi-Wan sat behind her, gripping her hands is his. He had seen this done before; knew the technicalities; but had never taken part. She was still on the same plane as the living. Delving into the Force, Obi-Wan focused his energy on Siri's head trauma. He meditated on the bruising at the back of her brain, along with the torn vessels. He protectively wrapped his essense around hers, encouraging her body to allow the Force to enter and help repair--

_Stay._

His eyes shot open as he felt the whisper touch his mind. He sent a wave of comfort back to Siri. Her injury wasn't getting any better yet, and the trauma still gripped her. Only in a trance with a connection as deep as theirs could Obi-Wan reach any sort of contact at all. After a while, he began to feel her familiarity weaving into him once more. He softly called out to her. Immediately, he was hit by a desparate wall of despair.

"Siri? I'm here. It's only us. I'm going to make it better."

------

_I'm here._

She had been floating in a void, maybe in the Force itself. She had not felt herself die, but knew her feet were on either side of the boundary. All she had sensed was Obi-Wan, or maybe just his echo, bouncing from every direction. It felt as if she were at the bottom of a deep, warm pool, drowning, all his calls distorted by the waves.

It was peaceful here.

Siri could feel her own bizarre self-awareness. While floating, she couldn't remember her name, or her age, or what planet she had been on when she had tumbled. And then there were the things she knew, memories truer than any galactic history textbook she had read as a Padawan. Memories, telling her that the vaporator needed to be cleaned, and it was Obi-Wan's turn to dry-wash the sand out of their clothes, and an embryo couldn't possibly survive so long without any oxygen--

_It's only us_. But it was peaceful here. Obi-Wan was calling her, wanting her to come back to him. Siri tried to ignore him; tried to concentrate on her new-found nirvana. She was awake enough to decide where she wanted to go at this crossroads. There was nothing wrong or terrible in this place. She felt herself walking back toward the door, back toward the safety of nothingness, and then her path was blocked.

_Stay._

So, she had heard it again. Of course, it wasn't a word. It wasn't even a coherent thought. But the sentiment, the desire, hadn't come from Obi-Wan or any of Siri's fallen friends.

_Stay._

Neither would remember this. Even if Siri had been concious, the miniscule energy would have felt like the wind on her neck, or a breath on her forehead.

_If we go back together, you will never have an easy life._

There was no joy, no sadness, no emotion, no love between a mother and child. All of that could come later. Siri felt an acceptance from the tiny flicker; a pure, tiny flame, knowing every detail of her life, to be forgotten when she was born.

The connection left as quickly as it came, but the imprint remained. Obi-Wan called out again. Siri ran back.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone! Happy new year.

Obi-Wan gasped at the sensation of Siri's body falling back against his chest. Hopeful and anxious, he turned her around. Her entire neck was bruised a deep purple, and he gently supported her head with his arm.

Siri's breathing was steadier, and the blood from the gashes had reduced to a slight trickle. Her eyes slowly blinked open, painfully. Obi-Wan quickly shielded her dilated pupils from the searing suns.

Siri leaned forward, trying to sit up and get her bearings. Her entire self shook. She felt Obi-Wan's arms holding her. Siri's mouth opened, and she tried to speak; tried to ask what had happened.

Cave, Tusken, hotel, sand, fight, Vader, fight, pregnant --

Then, she remembered why they were even out in this wasteland to begin with.

"... fingers I have up? Siri, can you tell?"

His voice made her head throb unbearably. She cried out at the noise, and tucked her face into his - blood-soaked? What, why...? - shirt. "Do you know where you are, Siri?" She craved silence. Siri groaned, and then angrily shushed him, nodding into his chest. There was no memory of her time in darkness.

If the galaxy was going to crumble, then Siri had wanted to grab every last piece with joy.

They had been so close.

Obi-Wan felt the words he had been trying to say all night being pushed back. He knew that if he wanted to, he cold seek the answer out on his own -- but Siri would hate the mental invasion. She hadn't spoken much. Siri had responded to him in monosyllabic answers, and after he had healed any chance of a concussion, she slept on and off for the entire afternoon. Obi-Wan had sealed off the entrance with rocks, allowing him to create light and warmth with a small fire as the suns began to set.

Tiredly, he slipped into meditation. He was devastatingly sure that an unborn child couldn't survive with its mother in such a state of shock for as long as Siri had been unconcious. Guilt stabbed at him. There was no definite answer; he hadn't felt its presence fall away, but Obi-Wan had never felt it to begin with.

Next to him, Siri was beginning to sit up on her own. The close heat of the fire made her skin flushed, but she still gripped Obi-Wan's robe around her. He reached out a hand to her thigh, but she flinched away. For a long time, she simply stared into the blaze.

He tried to steady his voice as much as he could. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, I've been better," she replied shortly. She flinched as she stretched her legs, trying to move away.

"I--" Obi-Wan knew that this was not the time to break down in front of her. "Is it... did it make it?"

She was silent for a few beats, and he didn't know how to respond to the heavy dread pooling into his stomach. Her throat was hoarse as she managed to choke out, "Why would you care?"

He wanted to hide from her. This was all his fault. Instead, he put his hand on her thigh. She let him.

"Funny how you could have asked me five hours ago," she murmered.

Obi-Wan felt about three feet tall. But as he turned from her, she finally clutched onto him, and spun him around to look at her.

"She's fine. You were right. She IS very strong."

He blinked. "You didn't... she's okay?"

Siri nodded. "She's still here." Softly, and proudly, she patted her flat stomach. "I didn't think so, either. But she's here."

Obi-Wan struggled for composure and for words. Siri had stood, and still on unsure feet, went looking for her own robe. She spread it out next to his own, and sat down on it. If Obi-Wan hadn't been so angry at himself, he would have crushed her against him.

"Siri, I thought you were going to die."

She closed her eyes, and hugged herself closer. "I thought so, too."

Siri watched the shadows on his face, flickering with the flames. Since the previous night, Obi-Wan had a perpetual frown. He was still worried, but relief was working its way into his features. As his lips parted, Siri ached to see him happy. "Did you really think I'd be such a cruel person as to be glad about my best friend miscarrying?"

Hesitantly, she sighed. "I did. I did, because... I wanted to truly hate you. Because I know you're right. I knew that I needed to leave, no matter what. And it'd be so much easier to get on a transport if I was furious at you."

Obi-Wan gave up on trying to hold back the waver in his voice. "Then stay. Please. We'll teach her to shield, we can--"

She pulled him to her as tightly as she could. Both melted into each other's arms, and felt the mutual shaking as they cried. If this was the end of all things, they would go through it, together as they always had. If they had to sacrifice themselves to make sure that this new hope could bring peace to others, they would. There was an old Jedi mantra about pulling scorched weeds to let new sprouts grow. The saying became a blur in his mind as Obi-Wan pulled her into a kiss. She deepened it. "She will never have an easy life," Siri breathed, startled by the strange familiarity of her own words. He nodded.

"She might, one day. We don't know. But we can help." Siri smiled, and let herself collapse back into his embrace. She hated sleeping so much, but Siri realized that she was going to have to give up on her pride for the time being.

"Take your tunic off," Obi-Wan whispered into her ear.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Nuh uh, Kenobi. It's sleepy time."

His eyes held a bit of mirth as he shook his head. "No. The rocks you fell on weren't very forgiving. Your back hurts, doesn't it?"

"Hmm." She paused thoughtfully. "I think I might have an eyelash that isn't sore." Obi-Wan felt his face flush, but her quick grin was reassuring. If giving him a hard time was how Siri had always dealed with frightful situations, then he certainly wouldn't protest against this one.

She lifted off her tunic, and laid flat. Her robe wasn't much of a mattress. Her breasts were even more sensitive from pregnancy; her chest hurt, pressed against the surface. But soon, she shifted into a somewhat comfortable position.

Obi-Wan had seen worse, but wasn't prepared at the sight of her back. Siri's shoulders were streaked with dry crimson, and the bruising fading down to her kidneys was a nasty blue. She made a choked noise as he touched the sore flesh, but soon, she found it comforting. His hands were gentle as they helped circulate blood-flow. After a while, she reached out to feel his connection in the Force. He was tired, and her heart ached as she realized that he hadn't let himself rest this entire time.

_Come here, love, _she sent, understandingly. Greatful, Obi-Wan chuckled, and softly kissed the flesh between her shoulder blades. Gingerly, he handed Siri her tunic. He took the robe next to hers' and laid it on top of both of them. Siri slowly rolled onto her side. She wrapped her arms around him, and rested her head against his heart.

"Long day," she muttered.

"Too long," he agreed, stroking her hair back.

She squeezed him tighter. "Get some sleep. I'm not carrying you home."

"Oh, like hells you're not."


End file.
